and the world spins madly on
3:26 AM

it's almost 4am.
and of course, i'm doing homework.

because i procrastinate.
and blade runner is a bitch.



but i took a study break, and checked el facebook. random notifications, oh! an invitation to a bbq this summer. holy cow planning ahead, but whatever.

essentially, this invitation from an old friend brought to my attention a bowl-full of friends, new, old and older, whom i've (not on purpose) left behind.


it made me think of Big Fish.


when i'm reliving my life, in the last moments that my heart's thudding away, who would i want to see before i flip off into the river ewan mcgreggor-style?


i'm amazed at how many people have carved a little spot into my barely-established life. people who know, and don't know, that they've made waves, made a difference some way or another. it's strange to think about all the people that mean something to you, even if its an unhappy thought attached to their name; regardless, they have their place and cannot be burned out of the tapestry.

holy cheesefest. but.

to look at a lifetime of acquaintences, friendships, relationships... family, and those who have truly dug their little hole just that much deeper into your heart.... all the people who you hold, if not close to your heart, simply for something substantial, something worthy of your remembrance.... could you sort them all out? write down names? imagine them applauding, eager faces and hands colliding all for your benefit, for your recognition, for your farewell?


i guess it's a little morbid.
but i'd like to think i'd have a solid group.
and i'd like to think i'd be part of a few different groups, in turn.


it is for this reason i cannot cut people out of my life.
as much as i may gripe, as much as i may bitch about how they've hurt or harmed me, and how i will never EVER speak to them again, or associate with them.... they're still there. they're on the list. and they have their spot.


life's too short.
jump in.



...and finish your goddamn essay.

0 comments:

Post a Comment