The week is essentially over.

We shot 4x5's in this morning's photography lab, and I believe mine turned out ok.... we'll see! It's exciting to anticipate the results but mildly life-threatening considering we have one shot at getting an ok image. Fingers are perpetually crossed.

The Completed Works (in no particular order)

  • Visual Journals from hell (actually an interesting assignment, but handwriting them out gave me a greater appreciation of the wonderful invention that is my macbook keyboard.
  • Ethics essay (an analysis of an advertisment. don't do drugs, kids. and if you do, make sure you look hot while doing so.)
  • Kensington layout (a marketplace assignment for photog)
  • Architecture assignment (see photo. yay for my latest obsession with black and whites.)
  • Film essay (10 pages of Blade Runner goodness that hopefully has broken my ties with that movie for good)
Upcoming Headaches
  • CTC essay on Time and Culture (whattabitch.)
  • Visual Comm exam (take home)
  • Ethics exam (take home)
  • Film exam
  • Photography exam (date unknown. horray, geronimo - you done good. not.)
  • CTC exam (in the middle of buttfuck nowhere on my calender, a week after i've moved out, at 7pm off campus. this is oodles of unceccesary.)
  • MOVING OUT (In a week and half. how I fit my life into my 10x10 box is beyond me, but I now have to try to get it all back to Oshawa in one piece. FML.)
  • Back to Jack's (hostessing my way to the top for yet another summer.)

I suddenly have the urge to jump up and begin screaming, running around like wacko jacko in an attempts to achieve some productivity in this waste of a class. why I bother to come is beyond me.

William's fake horrible iced caps FTW!

and the world spins madly on
3:26 AM

it's almost 4am.
and of course, i'm doing homework.

because i procrastinate.
and blade runner is a bitch.

but i took a study break, and checked el facebook. random notifications, oh! an invitation to a bbq this summer. holy cow planning ahead, but whatever.

essentially, this invitation from an old friend brought to my attention a bowl-full of friends, new, old and older, whom i've (not on purpose) left behind.

it made me think of Big Fish.

when i'm reliving my life, in the last moments that my heart's thudding away, who would i want to see before i flip off into the river ewan mcgreggor-style?

i'm amazed at how many people have carved a little spot into my barely-established life. people who know, and don't know, that they've made waves, made a difference some way or another. it's strange to think about all the people that mean something to you, even if its an unhappy thought attached to their name; regardless, they have their place and cannot be burned out of the tapestry.

holy cheesefest. but.

to look at a lifetime of acquaintences, friendships, relationships... family, and those who have truly dug their little hole just that much deeper into your heart.... all the people who you hold, if not close to your heart, simply for something substantial, something worthy of your remembrance.... could you sort them all out? write down names? imagine them applauding, eager faces and hands colliding all for your benefit, for your recognition, for your farewell?

i guess it's a little morbid.
but i'd like to think i'd have a solid group.
and i'd like to think i'd be part of a few different groups, in turn.

it is for this reason i cannot cut people out of my life.
as much as i may gripe, as much as i may bitch about how they've hurt or harmed me, and how i will never EVER speak to them again, or associate with them.... they're still there. they're on the list. and they have their spot.

life's too short.
jump in.

...and finish your goddamn essay.

1:32 AM

insomniak, originally uploaded by Lei At Large.

watchmen, anyone?
this guy is brilliant.


i command you!
8:51 PM

i command you!, originally uploaded by twistedelements.

I think I'm addicted to the epic.

this one is mine.
oh the things i come up with at 4am.


, originally uploaded by shaderlab.



Tidbits from the Distillery
3:14 PM

Just a few of the shots I was happy with.
Slash I'm not done editing.
So we'll see.

Discovered the store that I will definitely be buying things from when I am rich and can afford to drop $1000 on a jacket.

Ain't no thang.

Add any further analysis, speculation, and conclusions that you think adds deeper philosophic insight
4:36 PM

Officially sick of being sick.


Today in Basic Studio Techniques, we learned how to scan an image onto your computer.

i feel like i'm essentially being held back from what i want to do.

i'm not learning things. yes, some people clearly need to learn these simple practices. but jesus. it's a bit much, i'm paying to learn "Basic Studio Techniques" not how to plug an epson scanner into my laptop.

Is it too much to ask that i get something out of my classes? I'm paying mucho moneys for them. i've bought the equipment (which i'm realizing now, wasn't even necessary at this point. i could've gotten by with my rebel. it wouldn't have been fun, and i'm obviously in love with my d300, but i could've waited until it was easier to afford, seeing as my family is now epically broke with all the random spending they've helped with). i've turned down other programs for this one. this was supposed to be it: the perfect fit, essentially the best choice out there for me. and now i'm realizing... maybe it's not.

i get by with the shoots that i do on my own. a friend recently told me i'm learning more doing my own stuff than i'm learning in class. this is epically true, and it's sad that i'm paying so much money to go out on my own and teach myself. i'm paying for the paper, at the end of the day, and it seems so far away at this point that i'm not sure it's worth it anymore.

i know it is.
at this point, i'm getting antsy.
i'm sick of being told to wait till second year, that it'll pick up.
i dont want to place bets on that.
because who knows.

oh, and on a minor note, if someone could tell my ammune system to suck it up and kick back in, that'd be great. thnx.