Mind maggots and anxiety bubbles.
11:28 PM

When you've got something on your brain, it tends to worm its way out. The only way out is through, so of course it works its little mind maggot booty (mind maggot: a wonderful description by a good friend that is only fitting) in and out and around your everyday happenings until all of a sudden you're spitting out your quinoa stirfry on said good friend because the little guy has come out one of your ears.

Yes, this post is on change, but it's also going to dive into the topic of anxiety a little bit as well.

See folks, I'm finishing my last week at my current day job and embarking on a new one. This is an awesome opportunity and I am so welcome to the change that will ultimately come with the new job, and really, new lifestyle. I'll be a commuter. I'll be waking up before 9am and concocting creative lunch combinations after doing the dinner dishes. I will be going to sleep before midnight (or so I hope). It's gonna be an overhaul, but I'm looking forward to it. For the most part.

Once and a while, as I'm sure you've all experienced (and if you haven't, well dutty for you and your smooth sailing existence), we all tend to get bombarded by an anxiety bubble. It's like acid reflux of the mental variety, where that mind maggot you've been harboring has just left, and in his wake leaves behind a brewing bubble of anxiety. It starts low, somewhere between your toes and your belly, moving through your system until you have a shiver of something. A little chill of, hmm? What was that? Self-doubt? Insecurity? Worry and a general feeling of discontent? Yes, my friend, that is an anxiety bubble that is about to burst all over your quinoa, like I said. Or wait, was that the mind maggot? Both go hand in hand, and if you can picture it, let's just conclude that the maggots travel in bubbles like space ships of self deprecation.

Anyways. My maggots and bubbles have boiled over and I've had some wonderful worry a-happenin' about the new adventure. Again, I'm so incredibly excited that I can't contain myself, and I also happen to be a great big fan of change as it is oh-so-healthy and necessary. This time, however, I just happen to have some extra characters in my usual theatrical inner-workings.

I dove head-first into quotes about change, and good ol' Dostoevsky helped a sister out to say it best.  But, Mr. D, I'm going to take my step, utter my words (with my foot locked and loaded for a clean catapult into my mouth when needed) and take that fear and swallow it whole. Heck, the maggots need a snack, so lets give them some fear to nibble on while I'm busy gettin' my change on.


This lovey dovey post brought to you by my favourite couple ever.
4:45 PM

In the lovely spirit of Valentines Day, why not show you the latest and greatest from my wonderful friends and freshly engaged awesome couple, Michelle and Mike.





GF Check-in
12:05 PM

So far, so good.

I have found celebrating others' birthdays and achievements to be a task and a half, because "no thank you" won't cut it when there's cake on the table! I've cheated minorly once (maybe twice, shhh) but I mean very minor (licking off icing? Sure!).

I do have a new-found problem with sugar, however. I crave it. Clearly this is because gluten and wheat turn into sugar in your system, and by removing them, my body wants other sources of the sneaky sweet devil. It's been so hard to resist wolfing down a chocolate bar (my resolve used to be strong enough that I'd eat one piece and be satisfied, now I can't even touch the wrapper without knowing it will disappear!) and difficult not to go nuts with the honey and syrups and of course.... chocolate. This too shall pass! But until it does, I'm restraining the sugar intake to just fruits and the occasional drizzle of honey (see photo above, mmmmm).

Kudos to all gluten free gods who have a legitimate allergy, and have struggled and mastered the "diet" for their entire lives. There are times I feel like a fraud, just using the dietary choice as a fad, but I have to remind myself that while it has made me feel a lot better, it has also helped with some legitimate dietary problems I've had for a while. My insides are thanking me, and for that I will continue to please them with fresh fruits and vegetables, peanut butter, and the occasional gluten-free waffle in the morning (limiting, limiting, but once and a while I need the fake stuff).

The one comment that threw me off the rails for a second:

"Are you just doing this to lose weight?"

My answer? I'm sweating and swearing at the gym to tone up, and I'm eating healthier and in a fresh direction to please my body after years of sugar and wheat addictions that I never thought I could shake. I'm not looking to lose any weight, as my BMI is perfecto for my age and height. I'm interested in kick-starting my metabolism and re-awakening my love for fresh cooking, fresh produce, and treating my body the way it should be treated: with respect. So no, I'm not eating wheat-free to lose weight. I'm eating wheat-free to challenge my body and lifestyle to see how strong I can really be.

I'm off, dear readers, to munch on some raisins and contemplate the meaning of "potato flour".


the current lineup
10:52 PM

listening: Alt-J - Breezeblocks

loving: Pegboards for the home and office (courtesy of Martha & Apartment Therapy)

laughing: At my ridiculous dog who keeps me in stitches 99% of the time

life: Folks, don't eat Campbells vegetable soup if you are trying to go wheat free. Pesky little pasta letters foiled my gluten-free plans for lunch. (In other news, it's actually going really well! No crazy cravings, no headaches, no slip ups aside from the noodles. I'm finding I'm grabbing for way more sugar though, so that needs to be kept in check.)

last words: Check this out, if you're not in the middle of eating (if you are, back away from the plate and read at your own tummy's risk)

Photo Source (Mine)