Fate, 101 3:11 AM

- - - a photo by twistedelements on Flickr.

I believe in fate.

I may sound incredibly naive, unintelligent, but when it comes down to it.. I strongly hold my cards to the fact that some things just -happen-. And they happen, for specific reasons unknown and uncontrollable by us silly little people folk.

This photo? A fluke, seeing as I was shooting a model and my trigger fired without warning while I was setting up. This is not a planned photo. And yet, I find myself loving it every time I see it. Something about it, the mechanics of the technical environment I spend so much time in, the curl in the edge of the backdrop that looks almost surf-able, the distinct feeling of intrusion upon this moment in time, caught unbeknown to the busy, focused photographer who never really looks down in a scene such as this one; the model is the focus, and it's without second thought that the outcome of the shoot will reflect such. Little did I know, I would love this photograph more than the model on grey that was scheduled into the works.

This is a rant, of sorts, that I'll bring to a close after a paragraph (or two, if I'm feeling relatively vicious). I believe in fate. and That is why, when there are moments in life when I feel the utmost of helplessness a human being can feel, I cling desperately to that small morsel of belief in the back of my mind saying... this will get better, this will change, and everything happens for a reason.

I am currently feeling helpless.
If anyone possesses the solution to a life of unhappiness, struggle and loneliness, I would love to rent a copy.

I am feeling helpless, and selfish, in that my own life is calm, cool, collected and comfortable, while others struggle to maintain a simple smile on their face as their days merge into a tango from hell, unable to sit out and come back in when the timing is right.

So here I sit, content and happy, but restless to find help for those who can't seem to tap out of their struggles.

If you've got the recipe, let me know.

déjeuner 6:53 PM

déjeuner, originally uploaded by twistedelements.

pure 12:39 AM

pure, originally uploaded by twistedelements.

had a close-to heart attack tonight.
a) took the camera out of the bag, and my 50mm 1.8 fell. onto the floor. stomach dropped.
b) picked up lens; the drop was barely an inch off the ground, but my heart pained as if it were my child. and it's only a 1.8! imagine if i dropped the damn 1.4..
c) immediately tested lens, and got the fEE error. my stomach, if possible, dropped further.
d) googled like i'd never googled before, and realized that my aperture was not set to the default.
e) fixed, replaced stomach, shot my birthday present from my mumma.
f) lesson: generally speaking, don't be me.

What's In My Bag, Spencer in the summer edition. 1:19 PM

We've got the goods.
I was cleaning out my purse, and figured it was probably about
time I got around to doing one of these, seeing as I love shuffling through the gazillions of shots of other people's stuff. Weird? I'd like to think it's more an interest in human behaviour. Ish.

One of the best scents for summer I have probably had in a long long time, Forever Sunshine from Bath and Body Works can honestly brighten my mood in one spritz. A heavenly mixture of "vanilla bean gelato", freesia, and sparkling top notes of "juicy tangerine, golden apricot" and "exotic berries", this body spray (which comes from a family of lotions and a body wash) will brighten your day and push your senses to sandy shores in the sun.

Staples of my existence. Key to house, attached to a key-chain comprised of a Nemo charm circa 2004, a Henry's lens cleaner (always a necessity), and a 2 gig flash drive that needs a new 4 gig mate. Besides that, my favourite, FAVOURITE pen (yes, I know you all have favourite pens too, don't make fun) the Sharpie Fine Point Pen, that probably comes in other colours but is a wiz to write with and has such a nice finish to everyday notes and doodles. Often sitting with my red Moleskine notebook, but not today apparently.


Another group of essentials, beginning with the only toothbrush I'll buy. The Colgate [insert proper product name here] vibrating brush, always in pink, packaged in twos for convenience. Cheap and cute and always necessary in one's purse for those unexpected overnight stays ;) Lady Speed Stick, because life tends to get a little sticky, and Annabelle compact powder because my face is always in need of touch ups. Last but not at all least, Rimmell Lasting Finish Pro Nail Enamel in Steel Grey, my new favourite (not necessarily summery but still prominent) nail colour that is permanently residing on my toes. Always necessary for touch ups, especially when work shoes kill my feet and toes.

My wonderful, $12 fake Ray Bans from Walmart. Probably the best sunglasses I've owned to date. Don't be fooled by the Versace case... I had Versace prescription glasses for years, and finally got new ones (Guess brand) but hated the case they came in. Thus the Versace case stays. Cleaning cloth a must for any wearer of glasses, and hair ties for hot sticky days when my hair drives me nuts.


Probably one of my favourite pieces that I've ever owned, wallet circa god knows when, from my Nana. Legit vintage, I scrounged it from her things after she passed, things she left to our family, and it makes me so happy to have a piece of her with me wherever I go.

Finally, the bag. My $15 Old Navy crazy find of life. I've had this bag now for... oh... 3 years? Give or take. And it's been a rock in my busy, hectic, ridiculously scattered day to day life. It fits a 15 inch Macbook Pro, books, clothes, and anything else that I need to stow away in something other than a gaudy duffel bag. It's classy without being outdated, inexpensive without being cheap, and a lifesaver all packed into one cute black bag.




Things I missed/didn't talk about until now: My life, aka my Blackberry Bold. It's a newborn, only a couple of weeks old, and it's already permanently attached to my person. It keeps me organized and in touch with the world and beyond, and I'm incredibly happy to finally have made the move up to a smartphone. Also, the white chapstick: Chapstick Vanilla Mint, unable to be bought at Walmart anymore, only PharmaPlus on occasion. Used so much the wrapper has evaporated into the depths of my purse, it's the only Chapstick I swear by, and the only thing that keeps my horribly dry lips nice and smooth, even through a long shift of schmoozing and boozing at Jack Astors (for those out of the loop, I'm a server).

I do believe that's it, and hopefully my purse will be exploding with new goodies in the future.... car keys, perhaps? We'll see. For now... at least I'm organized. Cheers!

it's hilary, new hat edition.